There, I said it. I have Poor Body Image, don't judge me; in fact, do judge me, I don't care - or at least I'm training myself not to.
So many people nowadays will suffer from negative views about their self image, especially with the continuing rise of social media and the sheer number of people sharing images of their perfect lives and perfect bodies... I know deep down that comparing myself to others is horse-shit and does me no favours mentally, but when it's in your face 24/7 it's hard not to judge yourself.
I've suffered from PBI for years; long-before Instagram and Facebook became platforms for people getting famous based on looks and likes, but hey, that's just me. Whether this is down to a lack of self-esteem, or simply that I do just have a shit body, receding hairline, massive head and rubbish smile, I don't know - or do I?
What I am learning - slowly but surely - is that whether any of the above negatives are true or not, they're my issues and that in reality, no-one else really gives a shit; they're too hung up on their own insecurities!
Today I took a few pictures of myself in just my boxers. I forced myself to do it so I could realistically monitor my progress with my diet and training and actually get a clear comparison when I do some more pics in a few weeks; rather than relying on my skewed memory and beating myself up for not making progress.
I've had 2 1/2 weeks off of the gym as of this morning and to be honest, my diet has been shocking since the little one arrived. However, I'm not going to beat myself up about this as I knew it would happen and there have been far more important things happening at home than me worrying about having sagging pecs or massive love handles... What I am going to do is start making small changes and setting realistic goals. I'm not going to fall into the trap of "oh, this is just me now" and not bother watching what I eat or skipping the gym again - this is how we end up with dadbods and become too lazy to improve ourselves.
Although I made my debut back in the gym this morning (pre pic taking) and I aim to go again on Friday, I've promised myself that I will return properly next week when I'm back at work. If I go first thing I'll have zero excuses for skipping it!
I've also told myself to ensure I'm getting enough protein - even for the rest of this week - as this is the number one reason for losing muscle, gaining fat and generally pigging out on crap. If you're still getting in quality protein, you'll be more satiated and less likely to finish off that family bag of crisps!
As I said above, it's about being realistic and I'm all for having fun and being relaxed in my food choices from time to time, but that's it, being relaxed some and not all of the time. Besides, I have the next few days to practice eating better again, before getting back into work-mode and doing it properly.
The secret to better eating by the way is prep. I'll explain more in another post, but seriously, if you want to eat well, you need to prep. It's a must and is so much easier than you think it is!
Next steps are to crack on and get back into a better pattern of eating and training. Sleep, as you know, is kind of out the window with a newborn, but we should take what we can get.
I'll be posting some side-by-side comparison pics in about 4 weeks to show the difference between not giving a shit and giving at least a few shits.
I am therefore not seeking yours or anyone else's validation on my image, I am simply showing you what happens to a normal guy who just doesn't want to end up feeling like shit all the time... In the process I also hope to end up feeling just a little bit better about my self image too.
Oh, and by the way, I'm having a couple of beers whilst I write this post. #realisticgoals